When you think about flying, it’s nuts really.
Here you are at about 40,000 feet,
screaming along at 700 miles an hour and you’re sitting there
drinking Diet Pepsi and eating peanuts.
It just doesn’t make any sense.
David Letterman
Top Ten Whines About Flying
#1 Airports
If God had really intended men to fly,
He’d have made it easier to get to the airport.
George Winters
#1 Airports
There is nothing like an airport for
bringing you down to earth.
Robert Gordon
Whine A: I hate going there.
Why: Unfortunately, airports have become our worst nightmare. They are too crowded, too confusing, too big and too frustrating for the average traveler—whining heaven for the constant complainer.
It all begins going downhill when you try to find a parking place or, God forbid, attempt to sit in the arrivals lane for more than two seconds without security chasing you off.
And then there are those loud, obnoxious, repetitive Announcements that hound you from all sides, and all those annoying tourists…
Whine B: It’s such a mob scene.
Cure: The “red-eye” cure is a brutal but effective way of dealing with impossible airports, especially for sound sleepers. Red-eye flights depart around midnight, when all sensible people are at home asleep, and arrive in the early hours of the next day.
Red-eye fliers are easy to spot because their eyes are bleary and puffy and bruised-looking, and their clothes look like they have been slept in…because they have.
On the other hand, they usually also display a serene smile and immitigable calm for having slept through whatever small amount of whining may have occurred while their eyes were so deliciously busy getting red.
#1 Airports
There is nothing like an airport for
bringing you down to earth.
Robert Gordon
Whine A: I hate going there.
Why: Unfortunately, airports have become our worst nightmare. They are too crowded, too confusing, too big and too frustrating for the average traveler—whining heaven for the constant complainer.
It all begins going downhill when you try to find a parking place or, God forbid, attempt to sit in the arrivals lane for more than two seconds without security chasing you off.
And then there are those loud, obnoxious, repetitive Announcements that hound you from all sides, and all those annoying tourists…
Whine B: It’s such a mob scene.
Cure: The “red-eye” cure is a brutal but effective way of dealing with impossible airports, especially for sound sleepers. Red-eye flights depart around midnight, when all sensible people are at home asleep, and arrive in the early hours of the next day.
Red-eye fliers are easy to spot because their eyes are bleary and puffy and bruised-looking, and their clothes look like they have been slept in…because they have.
On the other hand, they usually also display a serene smile and immitigable calm for having slept through whatever small amount of whining may have occurred while their eyes were so deliciously busy getting red.
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