#3 Increased Security
Whenever we land safely in a plane,
we promise God a little something.
Mignon McLaughlin
Whine A: These lines are too long.
Why: Sadly, ever since 9/11, increased airport security measures in the name of preventing terrorism have made traveling by air a dreaded ordeal. We now have to endure long lines waiting while pretending that we aren’t mentally profiling everyone else in our line. It creates an atmosphere of distrust and disgust.
The stripping down and shedding of all outerwear is demanding and demeaning. As for shoes, who can remember to wear slip-ons? I never do until I find myself laboriously undoing my tie-ons in a supremely unflattering position.
Whine B: I hate having to strip.
Cure: The “check everything” cure is just a band-aid for getting through security. By everything I mean everything except your ID and ticket. This is the only chance you have to zip through security unscalded by suspicion and humility, and even that is not a given if you have a foreign accent, forget to take off your sunglasses or just have “one of those faces.”
I’ve thought of going through nude but I suppose that would be seen as a protest of some kind. My objective is purely convenience-oriented; besides, I wouldn’t want to repulse staff or fellow travelers—or, God forbid, put the idea of a cavity search in anyone’s head…
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