Flying Whining #4 Lost Bags

#4     Lost Baggage

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline bags.

Whine A: Oh, No! Not again!

Why: As soon as people find out you’re an airline type person, all they want to talk about are their lost bags. It’s as if they think you could do something about it or that you even care. Lost bags are the universal complaint that does not discriminate against any class of flyer. Whether you fly first class or economy (known to flight attendants as low or no class) your bags are all treated equally—without the slightest care in the world.

 

Whine B: But I need my clothes.

Cure: The “carry-on bags only” cure works for me. It is the only way of making sure that you don’t end up languishing at the lost claims counter. The officials there pretend that they really care but they don’t. To them, one lost bag is just like any other. If they’ve seen one, they’ve seen them all—except for your bag. Do not under any circumstance hassle your check-in person. To do so could mean that while you are flying to Los Angeles, your bags could be going to London. Trust me. It happens. And don’t forget to pack all of your explosive perfume and toiletries in that soon-to-be-lost bag, as you are no longer allowed to carry on such dangerous and subversive items.